Picky, Picky

There's an old business adage:

Good, cheap, fast - pick 2.

A friend just shared an article that postulates a similar reality for life in general:

Work, sleep, family, fitness, friends - pick 3.

http://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/work-sleep-family-fitness-or-friends-pick-3.html?cid=sf01002&sr_share=facebook

Although this article was written from the perspective of an entrepreneur, it really applies to most working Americans.  I'm fascinated that someone has summarized the reality of modern life so succinctly.  People - women in particular - have deluded themselves into thinking they can have it all.  It's just not possible with the constraints of a 24-hour day.  I don't even have kids, and I never feel like I have enough time.  Ironically, being able to frame life in this pick-three structure gives me a sense of relief.  The key is to decide which three are my biggest priorities.  My life choices to date have pretty much decided that for me; now, I just need to embrace it.

Work
This is non-negotiable for me.  My career gives me a great deal of satisfaction, and Robert and I enjoy a lifestyle that requires two incomes.  After having to lay myself off from my own company at the beginning of the Great Recession in 2009, I discovered that too much of my self worth was defined by my work.  Nevertheless, I truly enjoy the problem solving and service to others that engineering affords me.  I plan to keep working for at least a couple more decades.

Sleep
Although I'd like to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night, I think I do pretty well to get at least 7 hours of sleep on weeknights and usually 8 hours or more on weekend nights.  I simply can't function well with much less than this.

Family
All of my family live more than an hour's drive away from me.  I would love to see them more, but it takes at least half a day to have any kind of decent visit.  Robert's parents live right around the corner.  I don't even get to see them as much as I'd like because I commute about 35 miles one way to work, but I'm grateful for the time we do get to spend together.  In addition, to me family also includes the tasks necessary to keep Robert's and my household running smoothly (e.g., cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping).  I do many such tasks daily.  Even so, I'll probably always feel inadequate regarding the time I spend with family.

Fitness
Yes, I prioritize this.  I average about 10 hours of riding per week, year round.  Exercise - cycling in particular - makes me healthy, relieves stress, keeps me emotionally balanced, and is just plain fun!

Interestingly, RAAM intensified the pick-three reality.  For five months before RAAM, about all I did was train and work.  It was worth it for the short term, but it definitely wasn't sustainable indefinitely.  The training time commitment - and expense - are the reasons I doubt I'll do RAAM again, even though it was a blast.  I'll reconsider if I become independently wealthy.

Friends
I am grateful for the various friends I have had throughout my life.  However, I've never been one to simply "hang out."  Usually, I'd much rather read or do some other solo activity.  These days, my closest friends tend to be my cycling buddies.  To a great degree, I combine family, fitness, and friends because Robert is an avid cyclist, too.

I've come up with a balance that suits me about as well as possible.  Marilyn vos Savant in Parade magazine once put it something like this: I love having 10 times more things to do than I can possibly accomplish.  That way I can pick and choose what I want to do.  If I had only enough things to do to fill the time that I have, I'd be stuck doing those things.

Now if we can just be gracious enough to accept that every person might prioritize any three of the five life areas.  There's no one right answer.