This past Saturday was the Kissing Bridge Classic gravel race. It's held at a really nice venue, the Fitzgerald Fruit Farm in Woodbury, GA. The course covers beautiful gravel roads throughout Meriwether County. Near the end it traverses the Red Oak Creek Bridge, a historic covered bridge locally known as the Kissing Bridge. (For more information about Horace King, builder of the Kissing Bridge, see my race report from last year dated 5/2/21.)
I was anxious as the race approached because I knew my biggest competition would be Teresa. I've gotten to know her some over the past few years. Last year she raced the Kissing Bridge Classic very impressively on a mountain bike. Soon thereafter, she got a gravel bike, which definitely would help her perform better. Additionally, she got a road bike to work on cardiovascular endurance. On top of that, she has had a coach. I follow her on Strava, and so I know that she has been training seriously. I work hard, too, but I was nervous to see how we would match up.
Saturday morning was unusually cool. Temperatures throughout the race were in the 40s. My team cycling jacket sure felt good while I was warming up. I was tempted to keep it on for the race, but I knew that I wouldn't really want it. Besides, not having my jacket would let me retrieve food from my jersey pockets much more easily during the race. My fleece jersey with a base layer was just right. I figured I probably wouldn't have to stop for a nature break during the race, but just to play it safe, I wore regular cycling shorts with knee warmers instead of bib knickers.
This year it was a mass start for everyone doing the long option (61 miles). I got near the front, behind a handful of young bucks so I wouldn't get totally run over. It was a fast start! I did my best to balance speed and keeping enough distance from other riders so that I could navigate ruts and potholes better until the group spread out.
Teresa was right with me almost immediately. I got behind her to draft. That way I could gauge her speed and, more importantly, make her work. I would have sat there all day if I could. The first photo opp was only a few miles into the race, at the top of a small climb. I rode past Teresa so that I would be in front in any photos. It was a small psychological thing that I wasn't even sure she would notice, but I was going to use every tool I had.
Shortly thereafter, a group of guys that included Robert and Cal caught up to us. Yea, now I could ride with some teammates! (Robert told me later that he couldn't believe how long it took them to catch us.)
I was feeling strong. I could tell that I could outclimb Teresa - something else to use to my advantage. On one of the bigger climbs, I got ahead of the group and bridged up to a guy who had made a break. I didn't really think we'd stay away from the peloton, but Robert told me later that that was a great move.
Then...I dropped my chain. Robert stopped to help me. We got it back on pretty quickly, but that was a real setback. Robert urged me on my way before he could even get back on his bike. I took off and chased down the peloton! It took me maybe a few miles. Amazingly, I still felt pretty good. I figured I would sit in the group as much as possible and see how things played out. Additionally, I hid in the back so Teresa wouldn't see me. Maybe she didn't know I had climbed back on. I wanted to surprise her as late in the race as possible and maybe make a break.
Not long after I caught back up to the peloton, I dropped my chain again! Drat! I knew that it would be tough to catch the group again, but I tried my best. At one point on a long straightaway, I saw them about half a mile ahead. We were only about halfway through the race - maybe I still could catch them.
After a while, I realized that it wasn't going to happen. I would have to average a slightly higher speed than the group, and I had burned a lot of matches to catch them the first time. In addition, the wind really picked up. Teresa had a big advantage dealing with the wind by being in the group.
I had told myself before the race that what I really wanted was to race my best. I had had a heck of a race thus far. So, I decided to keep racing my best, time trialing it the rest of the way.
My best was only good enough for second place this time. I really wanted to win, and I would have had a good shot at it if I hadn't had bad luck in dropping my chain twice. At the same time, Teresa really did have a great race.
Despite my best efforts, I have had a hard time keeping this race in perspective - before, during, and after. I tell myself that my performance, good or bad, is not a reflection on my value as a person. This is probably obvious to anyone else reading this, but I've struggled with this most of my life and only recognized it a few years ago. Also, trying to maintain a façade of control in my own life makes me less angsty about the world in general. We seem to have taken many steps back in the past few years: increased political polarization, normalization of hatred, indifference of the church, weakening of democracy...
Yesterday I read these words that help me:
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief.
Do justly, now.
Love mercy, now.
Walk humbly, now.
You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
- The Talmud
I will continue to give and take the best I can. I will remind myself to focus on what I really can control (or influence) in my own life, trusting that positive waves will ripple out. And I will pull out all the stops at the next race!
